30 days of Raps about Principal Mark Cerutti

The Principal Cerutti Beat Down Rap

by Lance Brown

Mark Cerutti’s hair
Might be black, brown, or blond
It doesn't really matter
‘Cuz he's got a magic wand

And with a wave he can make
Any problem go away
Like for example, if a CD
Had uncomfortable things to say

About Cerutti himself
And his authoritarian rule
He’ll just call 9-1-1 and have the cops
Straighten out the school

Rumor is, the rap just reflected
Most of the student body's desirin’
Sashwat Singh's not the only one
Who’s wished for the principal's firin’

(Not by fire, Mark - don't worry
It's sort of a metaphor.
All it means is you'd be shown
The proverbial door.)

In rap, a “beat down”
Is a metaphor, too--
Not a promise of physical attack

And to see it for other
Than what it really was
Takes eyes that are totally wack.

To make a student feel bad
For expression via song
It takes a village to do that
And it's utterly wrong

Utterly means entirely
Which means without exception
Those who support this punishment
Are flawed in their conception

Of right and wrong
And of wrong and right--
And it’s too bad Singh’s lawyer
Gave up without a fight

Hey kids! Bad news –
Freedom of speech may have to wait
Until you graduate from school
Let’s hope it’s not too late.

Cerutti? That man's fruity
And I don't mean that he's gay
I mean he's nuts
If he thinks he can control
What all the students say—

Or rap, as the case may be
Whether on school grounds or off
As Colonel Klink would say to Shultz
"Don't be a dumkopf!"

That's an old-school reference
To a Bob Crane show
I laid it down to show
That I'm old enough to know
What's up and what's not
And what's right and what's wrong--

And what's wrong
Is suspending a kid
For writing a song

Cerutti, Singh was right
You should be run out of town
My advice? Do it before
The next metaphorical beat down.